I had a run-in with the cops last night. Damn, the way they harass me. I had left my car near our neighborhood nine-hole golf course (yeah, that’s right, we’re talking mean streets), and my neighbor Carol drove me down to retrieve it.
It’s about 10:30 p.m. The street and the neighborhood are entirely dark and quiet. My neighbor swings her car around nose-to-nose with mine. As I get out and start toward my own car, I see headlights coming down the street. Those headlights belong to a police car and in a few seconds, I’m in a police spotlight. Here’s what goes down:
Me: (Waving my keys in a manner that can only be described as “merrily”) “Yes, this is my car!”
I continue unconcerned to my car.
Him: (spotlight still shining on me) “Um, is everything alright?”
Me: “Oh, everything’s fine! I had to leave the car here earlier, for, um, personal reasons.” [translation: none of your business why I left my car here, officer]
The officer moves the spotlight to my neighbor, who is still sitting in her car. She rolls down her window and waves. I can’t see if the wave is merry, but let’s assume it is.
Him: “Ok! Just wanted to make sure you ladies weren’t out here drinking!”
Laughing all around.
Me: (somewhat overly brightly, as we have in fact been drinking for the last two hours, just not here) “No, everything’s fine!”
He pulls away down the street a bit but doesn’t quite leave the scene. I get into my car and start it, do a K-turn and head toward home a few blocks away.
As I near my house, I see headlights behind me, and when I pull into an open space on the street the police car cruises slowly by me.
The harassment never ends.